Honor to Us All
Have you ever grown up where no one looks like you? You wonder why your eyes and skin color don’t match your surroundings. You stand in a sea of people and you are the only one who looks like you do. Well growing up in a white family and a white town you get used…
A Reoccurring Day-Dream
I think back to the time I was a baby, I like to think of a story of how I came into this world. I like to think my birth mother had dark long black hair with chocolate eyes. She has tan skin, and she’s short like me. I like to think of her holding…
Blurry Vision
My eyes reflect into yours Dark, Determined, Destressed I stare into you Who are you? We live in familiar bodies But we are lost children We must forge our own path Sheer resilience Thrashing thoughts lead to heavy minds Slashed roots entangle and grow into our futures Rays of sunshine forced into my mind Yet…
Nature vs Nurture
Are we who we are based on biology or upbringing? Science says it’s about 50-50 for each. 50% of who we are is based on genetics and DNA and the other 50% is based on environmental factors. For adopted kids, we only know 50% of what makes us who we are. Most children can look…
You Are Good Enough
Hearing “you are good enough” from a therapist for the first time felt fake to me. My first thought was that I didn’t prove myself to her enough to be “good enough”. Since I was a child I was always weighing my own self worth and trying to be just “good enough” to deserve something.…
Stereotypes
As humans we like to group people fast and easily, it’s part of our biological nature. It comes from the days where we had to stick with our own tribe so we wouldn’t die. Our brains have evolved, but we still have parts of our brain where we like to make assumptions about people because…
Loss
So during my second therapy session the issue of loss came up. The first loss that came to my mind was losing my grandmother this past December. I did not immediately think of losing a birth family, a foster family, or an entire birth culture. I have thought about losing those things, but it’s not…
7 Core Issues of Adoptees
Yesterday I had my first therapy session and I learned there are 7 core issues adoptees face throughout their lifetime: Loss, Rejection, Shame and Guilt, Grief, Identity, Intimacy, Mastery and Control. I was never aware that all the suffering and struggles I felt my whole life could be placed into these 7 categories. I feel…
What Bothers Me the Most
The woman who was supposed to love me the most left me alone as a newborn baby. Some stranger carried me for 9 months and gave birth to me supposedly on June 9th, 1997. I’ve hated my birthday ever since. I think of it as the day I was left alone in this world. How…
Therapy
So i’ve had a love hate relationship with therapy. I’ve made the decision to go back. My relationship with therapy started in 7th grade when my parents forced me to go see a therapist who specialized in adoption. I fought therapy all the way and looking back on it, my parents were right to make…
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Thoughts of a Chinese Adoptee 